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Fingerprints and “Felt Safety”

The past couple of weeks we have worked on, you guessed it, more paperwork. And by “we” I mean Nelson. He has told me where I need to sign things.

We’re completing our background checks, and the other day we got our fingerprints, uh, fingerprinted.

I finished reading “The Connected Child” which is on our list of required reading materials. Both of us will need to complete a book report on it as well.

“The Connected Child” is a great book, focusing on bonding with children who have begun their lives in a foster or orphanage environment. I really like the parenting techniques and how it emphasizes creating “felt safety,” which will build trust and mutual respect - valuable components to bonding with our new girl. She will have experienced situations and trauma that we will not know about or completely understand, resulting in fear based impulses and behavior. Healing can only begin when she feels safe with us.

There were some ideas that I hadn’t thought of previously, such as not decorating the child’s room with loud colors, patterns, and knick knacks. Our child will likely come from much more subdued and simple surroundings, and how we might normally want to decorate a kid’s room would be very overwhelming and overstimulating to them.

We will also need to maintain a fairly predictable schedule. And if there are deviations from the schedule, we are to give the child plenty of notice, explain what will be taking place, and continually check in with them and their feelings - creating dialogue instead of tantrums.

We realize that reading the book can make it all sound so easy, but are aware of the challenges that an orphan who is experiencing several traumatic events in the early developmental stages can bring. We continue to ask for your prayers, specifically that we continue to gain knowledge, recall the knowledge when needed, and for patience with one another when we are in the midst of it!

1 Comment

Sarah Riddle
Sarah Riddle
May 01

Beautiful reflection on being mindfully prepared (while know you are never really prepared). It is super exciting to follow along with your updates. Praying for you guys, your girl and for a swift process.

Are you learning to cook some new things? I have connections ☺️

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